Yes, there are some good reasons to reduce your participation in gay bars (time, money, health). Internalized homophobia - self-shaming, self-hatred - leads many gay men, and many queer people in general, to recreate their closets long after they’re “out” by shunning others, particularly those they consider “flamboyant.” In fact, for some of us, it gets stronger. The desire to distance yourself from them may not vanish after you come out. When you’re in the closet, you fear things associated with being queer - including, primarily, other queer people.
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There are many gay men who say “I’m not part of the scene” - men who hate gay bars and, presumably, crowds of queer people in general. Because the truth is, there’s nothing to fear at all. This slideshow will break down the ways you can overcome those fears. I sat in those meetings every Thursday for almost five years, so I can assure you that everyone is scared at first - scared of our families finding out, scared of rejection, and scared of each other.
#Why am i gay but hate other gay people full
There’s nothing more beautiful than saying what you are to a room full of strangers who clap for you, and that is something I wish for every queer person. When we went around the room introducing ourselves, many people said things like, “I’m a lesbian” - then, after a pause, “That’s the first time I’ve said that out loud.” That first meeting was filled with other kids like me, fresh from small towns, eager to start their lives.
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We meet on Thursdays!” I took a flyer and left. Finally, after building some courage, I stepped up.
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I saw the rainbow flag from a distance and pretended not to see it while I slowly passed every other table. There were hundreds of tables set up where upperclassmen waved and handed out flyers. On the first Saturday of my first year away from home, the field was transformed into a student club fair. A grassy field behind my freshman dorm at college changed - and maybe saved - my life.